ARRGH!!

Don't you just hate it when everything is not going right?!?! You just want to scream, but, when it comes to screaming on a horse....NOT the brightest idea. :)

Last night I rode Guinness (YAY) for the fourth time. I had been progressing slowly on G, but had made it to a point that cantering with heels down and hands tight was becoming more natural. So on Wednesday, my final (for real) ride on G was going to be money.

Ha.

Cantering was a nightmare. So was trotting. G kept tripping because my hands were not tight, nor steady enough. He shied at some unknown thing in the ring. He bucked a few times. When we cantered, it was on the wrong lead. And he figured out that if he pulled on the bit hard enough, the reins would give in my hands. Not to mention, the whip kept slipping from my grasp, because I wouldn't/couldn't keep my fingers closed. And with every mistake, my frustration and misery grew, until at one point, I almost jumped off in a huff. Angry at him for not doing what I wanted, but angrier still at myself for not asking G for the right things at the right time.

So I asked G for a halt and rolled my shoulders back. I took a breath, and closed my eyes for a second, sending out positive vibes. And started all over again. This time, we were able to get a canter on the correct lead, and trotted twice around the ring with nary a trip, on the bit, and in tune. So we stopped there for the night. I was still angry at myself for having a so-so lesson, but happy that I didn't give up.

It's so hard not to get frustrated when dealing with horses. They are wonderful creatures, and I love them. But, they have a mind of their own, and quirks. It's not Guinness' fault that he needs a steady hand and a firm leg to move forward. It's mine, for not committing myself to being firm. He knows what he knows, and anything less than that, well, that's not his problem to deal with. He's not being bad or mean. He's being a good dressage horse. But when your mind is yelling CANTER! and your body is saying, "um, well....canter?" it breeds frustration at yourself for not being on point, and frustration at the horse for not reading your mind.

While I'm still chiding myself for being so blasé last night, I am pumping myself up for Monday night's lesson. I will take what I learned on G, and be a better rider on Clinton. And I will put last night's frustrations away. Clinton, here I come!