Ah Wednesday night. Otherwise known as Lesson Two of the Week.
Let me tell you a bit about my riding place. It's lovely......a large barn with roomy stalls (each of which has a fan for the horse's comfort in the summer and enclosed with large wooden doors) and two wash racks. The floors are swept clean, and the sweet smell of horse and hay fill the air. The barn has a tavern room of sorts....parents can sip a drink while staying warm, and watch their children ride through a large glass wall that overlooks the indoor arena. The place also has an outdoor jumping ring and dressage ring, and both are host to shows throughout the year.
The horses there are not your average schoolers and boarders, but glossy chestnuts, bays, paints, and blacks...well tended, well schooled, and very expensive looking. As you walk through the barn, they all look at you through their doors, sniffing the air for treats, nickering. They live a very charmed life, I must say.
Its a lovely place. :) Did I mention that?
I currently ride two horses consistently. Sonnet, a bay mare, and Clinton, an almost black gelding. Sonnet is pushy, demanding, bossy, snotty, and feisty. She'll pin her ears when you come to get her for a lesson, and she'll try to bite any part of you she can when to saddle her. And treats? She'll knock you over to get at them. Sigh...and she knows how much I love her. She is lovely to ride...slow, steady, and when she's in the mood, looks amazing in a dressage test. And sometimes, sometimes, she'll stand quietly as I pet and hug her. Because I truly love her.
Clinton is the sweetest horse there is. He blows his sweet breath on you out of pure contentedness, and is so very patient while being saddled. He offers his feet to you for cleaning, and happily lips up the bit when offered. He also nickers happily at you for a treat, and loves to be petted and hugged. He's a real dressage horse...lovely when he goes on the bit**, with a big stride. He is much bigger than Sonnet...both in height and weight. He's also a little nervous...he looks uncomfortable when left alone for a second in the crossties, and hates jumps. Which is perfect for me, because I do not jump at all.
Now that Sonnet is wintering in Florida, Clinton is my main man. For the past few months, Sonnet and I have been partners, and I have gotten very used to her slow, fluid gaits. She doesn't go on the bit much, so I haven't pushed her as much as I should.
Clinton, as I said, is much faster, even at a walk. And he needs to be on the bit, and feel your hands on the reins to move at his very best. He can be a little trippy (like his rider....coordination is not my strong suit) and like I said, is terrified of jumps. In fact, he has been known to ditch riders if he thinks that he is going to have to jump.
Wednesday night was our first lesson together in months, and the jumps were still in the indoor ring, where my lesson was to be. So you can see where this is going to go.
I was uber conscious about Clinton's proximity to the jumps, and couldn't get him on the bit and trotting in a circle all at once. Instead of making pretty, fluid, twenty-meter circles, I was making trot-walk flat egg shapes, while flapping the reins and leaning like I was on a motorcycle, not a horse. It looked (and felt) horrible.
After a few rounds of that mess, Stephanie, my instructor, asked me to bring Clinton to her, snapped a lead line on, and ties up Clinton's reins. "You're going to ride without reins tonight," she said.
What? No reins?! I suddenly found my palms sweating in my gloves.
At first, we walked in circles.....my hands stretched out to either side, and then on top of my head. Once I felt okay with that, Stephanie asked me to trot.
The sweating began again, intensified. A little terrified, I asked Clinton for a trot, and he happily obliged, with his large floaty steps. I thought I was going to come flying off. I flapped my hands when I was supposed to be holding them out straight (Clinton did not like what he was seeing on his back and started getting nervous), and couldn't stop reaching for the reins.
Finally, finally, I was able to put my hands on my hips, relax my back, sink deep into the saddle, and post.
For people who don't ride, reins are a small part of riding. Although they do work well to halt a horse and cue a gait change, they are not the main cues. In dressage, everything is about the legs and the body. A shift in weight or the pressure of a leg can make a horse turn, stop, round out, and change gait. Balance is the key. If you depend on the reins to control the horse, the horse will not fully understand what you want. You can make a horse go left by tugging on the reins, but that doesn't mean he'll look pretty doing it...swinging out their hindquarters, or throwing their heads up. With a small tug on the reins, and pressure with the leg, the horse will move with you, not against you.
Even my instructor told me that in some riding specialties, reins aren't even an option until YEARS down the road.
I was very proud of my progress for the evening.....Clinton tripped at one point, and I had enough foresight to shift my weight backwards, off his front, and hold on with my legs. As I was brushing him out, I began to think about why I felt that the reins were so important, when Clinton moved so prettily without them. And then I realized that I was using them as a crutch; as something to make me feel like I was in control.
And don't we all have something that we hold on to like that? Don't we all have "reins" in our lives?
Sometimes its a relationship, or a job, or a materialistic thing. It's something that makes us feel safe, feel in control of the situation.....even when we are clearly not.
In these times, it is easier to continue to use the "reins", instead of relying on yourself, on your own instincts. We are afraid of the changes that are happening, afraid that if we truly let go of our "reins," that we will fall. And that we will fail. People are afraid to leave jobs they hate because they feel in control of their position in the workforce. We cut back on spending because if we can control what is in our pockets, then we can control the loss of property and other items. We don't leave friendships and relationship that we feel we have the upper hand on, because we depend on that person(s) to keep us going, despite their dead weight.
Are we truly happier gripping the "reins" in our lives? Are we using those "reins" as a means of control, or as a helping tool with our own momentum?
For you see, gripping on your "reins" doesn't make you more in control. It makes what you are trying to control that much harder to manage. We want to be secure, and so we grip onto things that may not always be in our best interests. And so while we think we are secure, we are actually unhappier than ever.
I am not saying quit your job, spend all your money, and ditch the people in your life. I am saying to evaluate the importance you give to the "reins" in your life, and determine if your grasp on them hurt or help you in this life.
The moment I allowed myself to let my body take over its rightful control of the situation, I managed to look like a real rider. It was exhilarating, and I felt powerful and joyful. People, that is the feeling we should have every day of our lives. The knowledge that we left the "reins," the crutch, behind us, took a chance, and learned how to fly.
So let go of what holds you back from being truly great. Tie up the reins for a while, and let your own self guide the path. You might be surprised just how great it feels. And how good you look doing it. :)
Peace, Love and Reins(less).......DG
(**"On the bit", according to Wikipedia, is "the horse being submissive to the rider's rein aid, given through the bit.")
