Passing Time / Equine Update

Has it REALLY been over a year since I last posted?

I visit this blog continuously, but haven't felt like writing. I'm often tired, and too busy with the daily in and outs of being a stay-at-home Mom. By the time Andrew is asleep, all I want to do is veg on the couch with my husband, and watch truly terrible TV. We moved to North Carolina three years ago, and since that time, between having a baby, setting up the home, and trying to make a life here, I've forgot the simple pleasure of writing here.

Or, maybe I've just gotten lazy. (Hey, it happens!!) One thing for sure is...I've missed coming here and writing. So I'll try, dear readers, to be much better. For now, I'll just write a short update.

No new news on the Equine front. I haven't ridden in three years. THREE YEARS! I used to jones for a ride, the way a sugar addict needs that one. last. COOKIE. But as time passed, and months turned to years, the yearning has slowed from a scream in my head, to a dull ache. The need to ride a clean test; the need to keep my seat deep in the saddle; the need to hug a horse; running my hands through their coats...it's a feeling that almost belongs to someone else.

Almost. My son is about to start preschool in the Fall, and I'm about to have a little more time on my hands. Time to finally clean the house, watch some TV I've missed, read my books, and get crafts done. Maybe even find a little part-time job. As I struggle with the sadness of not having my son all the time, I am also excited to have some space for me again. And a little voice inside me says, "Now. Finally. It's time to start getting back on the horse." Literally.

The stars are aligning again. Last week, my neighbor (a horse enthusiast like myself), and I were walking through the neighborhood, when she casually mentioned her daughter was getting interested in Dressage. That led to a discussion of area barns. And the mention of a horse at one of those barns who is up for lease. The dull ache to ride returned. A little less dull. When I went home, I started looking at the barns she mentioned, and the horse. The horse is probably not a good fit for me, but it opened up my eyes to the prospect of leasing again. To riding regularly. With the wind in my face, and a trainer (probably yelling at me to sit deeper and quiet my hands).

Dull ache? It's a full on jonesing again.

Oh boy.

So that's all the news on the horse front. But there's other exciting things. Which I'll write more about in my next post.

I promise!!

Let's Start with the Horses.....

So it's been almost a year since I last posted. I could write the Great American Novel about what's going on, but I will try to keep it short and sweet. First, horse news. My dear sweet Clinton has been sold. I am terribly sad, but also very happy for him. My friend at the barn told me a really lovely lady bought him, who showered him with pets and kisses. If I can't have him, I want him to have a home where he is loved and pampered. He is a great horse, and he deserves the very best. I almost bought him a year ago, but had to pull out, for many reasons. It hurt my heart to have to say no, but in the end, I did what was best for us both. I had many life changes coming, and it would have been unfair to buy him and then barely see him for months. Plus, in reality, buying a nearly 20 year old horse, who, while incredibly sound, probably only had a few more years of showing left, was not a "smart" business decision. And that would leave me with an aging retiree in the pasture (I would never have sold him), and on the hunt for a new horse. Still, even though my head knows I made the right decision, my heart still longs for him. I have not been back to the barn in year...again because of life changes, but mostly, I couldn't bear to see the horse I had wanted so dearly. I will be going to the barn again soon to pick up my gear, and it will be hard to walk by his stall and not see that funny question mark on his forehead and floppy ears. Sigh. Clinton is the second horse I loved, and have passed on in my riding life. The first was an Appy named Joker. He was my first horse love. He was not a beauty....he was white and pink (from many areas where he'd rubbed off his hair), with black spots. He was also very nasty. He had a reputation of bucking, kicking, and biting. Of course, I fell in love with him. At first, I was simply mucking out his stall, but that moved to talking to him, and brushing him, and giving him great back rubs. Slowly and surely, Joker and I fell in love with each other. Since no one else rode, or paid any attention to Joker, he felt like my horse. And despite the warnings from other riders, I was determined to ride him. So when I got the chance to hop on him, I didn't hesitate. Just as he was in the barn toward me, he was gentle and sweet, never spooking or bucking. That's not to say he was perfect. He was a jealous horse...if I petted another horse, or showed attention to a person in the barn, the moment he was let out, he would gun for the horse/person, teeth bared. And he was very mischievous....I lost quite a few pants pockets that he ripped off, playing with me. But when his owner decided to give him to me, I had to pass. I was a college student with a load of debt, and the daughter of two parents who strongly resisted my want for this horse. And as with Clinton...Joker was an older horse (22), who would become a pasture potato in few years. So I said no. Three weeks later he was sold to a young girl with the same love for him as I, so while I was happy for my sweet Appy, I was sad I wouldn't be the one he'd see every day. That was 10 years ago. I hope that he is still alive, but he would be 32 by now. I hope that his remaining years were happy ones. So my hunt for the perfect horse continues. I hope one day to be able to fall in love with a horse, and be able to buy him or her myself. It is too hard to say goodbye. But at the moment, a horse is not in the cards for me. For you see, while I have been on hiatus, I have had another life to think about. My newborn son, Andrew. TO BE CONTINUED......

Humpty Dumpty

Okay. This is getting ridiculous.

I fell again.

This time, it was a bit harder to get up. I fell on my hip, and it took me a moment to get up again. Wow, did that HURT. No bruising today that can be seen, but I think someone may have inserted a golf ball in my hip as I fell. And I feel a little whiplash in my neck. Definitely some hitch in my giddy-up today (poor horse joke, I know!!).

I thought Clinton spooked again, but Mary thinks I lost my balance. (She is probably right) I got back on and trotted and walked. I needed to do that, or I don’t know if I would ever get the nerve up.

And I haven’t fallen off a horse in YEARS…now twice in two weeks?

So I am being relegated back to being on the lunge line for the next few rides, until I can get myself together. Instead of being nervous on the horse, I am starting to get a little scared. And that just makes me mad.

I want this too much to quit, or let being terrified stop me. And the more I feel that niggling twinge of fear in my gut, the madder I get, and the more determined I get.

No more falling.

Pinkie swear!!

Horses…always a learning moment (Part 1)

I am on a roll with my posts! I’d been meaning to post about my show for weeks now, but you know how that pesky thing called life gets in the way.

Now for a more current “Horse Life” post. 

MONDAY (cue Law and Order “duh duh”)

I have changed a few pieces of equipment, and by gosh, they have changed our rides! I punched a new hole in Clinton’s nose band, added spurs, lost the whip, and added a strap to the saddle (for extra hand-stilling support). Clinton has really been stepping under himself and staying on the bit for longer and longer….instead of fighting for control for 20 minutes (thus leaving a mere 10 minutes for learning), we have flip flopped. Yay!!!

Feeling confident, we had several good rides, both in instruction and by ourselves. On Monday, I was feeling like a champ. Confidence to the extreme. So when Mary left the arena to talk to her son for a second, I decided that Clinton and I should practice just a bit more with our trot on the bit while waiting. As we rounded a corner at the other end of the arena, Clinton spooked.

Clinton, as I’m probably sure I told you, is a spooky horse. I like to think that he is simply a sensitive soul. He often sees goblins and ghouls, especially at the far side of the arena, the gate to the outside arena, the outdoor dressage arena, any open door, and any area where a scary pigeon may be (I agree with him there. Damn pigeons will swoop on you and fly in a horse’s face). Often, the spooks consist of a spontaneous canter, which lasts a few steps, or a balletic jump in the air. Once, he tore off at a full gallop. I have not fallen off yet, each time able to calm Clinton (in the case of the gallop, I didn’t have stirrups, but I managed to stop him by making him turn circles).

My time was up.

Clinton went one way, and I went the other. I’m not sure what he saw, or what I did…whether I tensed, or Javier (the barn manager of sorts) scared him, and I don’t know why I fell…just that I did. As Clinton made a sharp turn, I went over the side, hitting the wall, and sliding facedown into the dirt. I looked up just in time to see Clinton slide to a stop in front of the mirrors (no doubt to admire his rider-less appearance, silly pony).

The funny thing about my falls (I don’t know if you do this too) is that I have two reactions. The first is to get up and out of danger immediately (when one falls off a horse, one wants to make sure the horse doesn’t then turn around and trample said stunned body into the ground). The second, is to test all body parts to make sure they are not broken, bleeding, swelling, torn or bruised. Seeing that Clinton was stopped (and a boarder was heading over to catch him), I took the time to check myself out. Nothing broken, but my shoulder was twisted, and I could feel my boot tighten around my ankle (just a hematoma. I love that word. Say it like The Terminator. Silly, I know. But try not to laugh at yourself after saying it).

Once I figured out nothing was particularly maimed, I started walking toward the boarder and Clinton, as well as a clearly worried Mary. She took Clinton, and made me sit down, thus eliminating my good intention to get back on.

Fast forward to Thursday. Now, I wanted to ride Tuesday and Wednesday, but the eye doctor dilated my eyes on Tuesday, and Wednesday I had plans. So on Thursday, a lesson day, I had some serious nerves.

But there was nothing to fear. Despite a plethora of little girls running in and out of the arena, Clinton was calm and collected, and his sweet normal self. I had to remind myself to breathe, and not anticipate a spook, but we did really well. And on Saturday, I rode again. Still a bit nervous, but Clinton was fine.

So what did I learn? First, that I really need to work on my balance. I really shouldn’t have fallen…he didn’t trip or buck or rear. He simply ran off. So I am starting yoga and trying to work on being centered and balanced. The second thing I learned (and it’s a lesson I learn over and over) that horses are unpredictable. I have been bragging lately that I don’t fall off Clinton. Lesson learned. 

Showing...a Baby Step at a Time

A few weekends ago, Clinton and I broke our maiden, as they say in the racing world.

We had our first show together.

My barn held a fun show this weekend, and I decided to swallow my fear of failure, and enter. Because it was a relaxed, fun show, I didn’t have to wear the traditional garb, nor braid and bathe Clinton. It was a great beginning point for us. I have been taking lessons for three years at my barn, and it was beyond time to put all of those lessons and rides to the test.

Since I was the oldest person at the show, Mary (my instructor) put me in three classes with a teenager who was just beginning in dressage. We competed in Walk/Trot/Sitting Trot, Walk/Trot/Canter, and a very simple dressage test….create a figure eight, halt at the end of the arena, break into a canter, and halt at the gate.

Clinton and I placed second in Walk/Trot, first in the canter class, and second in the dressage test. (Later, Mary told me I would have won that too, had I changed my diagonals in the figure eight. Argh!)

So at the end of this story, you might be thinking, well. This show didn’t prove anything. I basically lost twice. And I was only competing against another girl. So what’s the big deal?

The big deal is that this show was a huge confidence booster. Until now, I never felt confident enough to show. But we did great. Clinton was mostly on the bit during all three classes. Our canter was large and fluid (in fact, I overheard someone saying, “that Clinton doesn’t want to stop!”). And we actually cantered clockwise against the fence! We were so relaxed, too. At the beginning, I took a deep breath, forgot the crowd, and centered on Clinton. We were very relaxed, and to be honest, I forgot anyone was there!

In a few weeks, I am taking a huge leap of faith. I am entering my very first USEF/USDF recognized show in Gainesville, Florida. We will only be competing in Intro tests, but from being unsure I could show, to wanting to make my mark in the show ring, I’d say I’ve grown quite a bit.  Now to figure out how to make those fancy braids…..